New Year....Old Problems....

Its a new year but things are still the same as last year. I feel like i screwed everything with some people and i dont know naymore. Things have gotten so complicated. I play everything off like nothing fazed me but really I feel like im dying just a lil bit more everyday. I put on this fake face just so that no one can tell what is really going on behind these blue eyes. If you could see the images that they have seen you would be afraid. If you you cold read all the stories my heart and mind have been through you would be scared. There are time I just wanted it to all end. If i just kept this wall up in my heart nothing would of happened and I would never of become the person i am. Why did this have to happen? What you did to me was unforgivable and everytime i see your face i want to hurt you so badly that you just might feel the pain I was put through. You took my innonce away from me even though I allowed it, you should of known better. Too much crap happened the last two months of 2009 and they followed me into the new year. I just want high school to end so that i wont have to deal with you or that fat, ugly, bitch you call a person. Im not even sure shes a girl. She pisses me off so much im to my breaking point. I have everything bottled up in my body one little thing is bound to set me off. I swear most of it is because of you and she contributed to the other half. I just want to break down some days but I cant show weakness. Im so afraid, pissed, lonely, broken, and wasted I feel everything about me now is just my pokerface. I wish i could tell someone anything but im afraid that if i tell the whole truth they wouldnt look at me the same way, never talk to me again, and think of me in a way thats not good. I WANT TO GO BACK AND CHANG EVERYTHING BEFORE THEY GOT OUTA CONTROL. The pain is getting so much to bare.

New Life

Strong arms grab me form behind, and sharp fangs rip into my neck, draining every ounce of blood from my beating heart. My mind whirls. Could it be a vampire? Are they real? My vision starts to blur and fade away as the blood is drains from my cooling body. I imagine the monster that is doing this horrible act to me. He plays with me before giving me the gift of eternity. He slices his arm and lets the blood of the undead fill my exhausted body. Ecstasy and pain fill my head and body. It feels like a piece of love. A final cold embrace between a vampire and a human. A human slowly being turned into a mistress of the night. Filled with the blood of the undead my sire leaves me to feel the pain and agony of turning. I awake after the change. As the dark night settles upon my shoulders, everything is clearer. I feel my power intensify and hunger grows. After feasting upon some innocent bystanders, he returns. I run my tongue over my newly acquired fangs. He grabs me by the hand and leads me to our new fate. Hand in hand, my souls returns to my body as we walk off in the dark night, that I call my new life.

juSt suMThiN 2 WriTE =]

So wow........like i havent BLOGGED in so f-ing long foolz =D its been sucha stressing like probably month.....trying to get all dis crap done fo skool.......argh man ima be a freakin SENIOR n its no bueno y bueno cuz like ima finally get to leave the house......but i have to basically grow up and face the real world and i dont think im ready fo dat cuz its scary....... Well im working on my history final (i havent rly started on it lol =D) but ya so ima go n try to work on it =D

*~* PEACE *~*

boARd aT miDNighT =D

So yeah...im constantly listen to the same song ova n ova agian... LOVE SEX AND MAGIC I really like this song and its like reallly awsum..i dont like ciara to much but JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE has a very sexy voice in this song....so im reading (i noe shocker lol ) ne wayz im readin NEW MOON and it kinda got on my nerves at sum parts....like idk sum times it was boaring me but i wanted 2 read on so i culd get to the next book...(these books are to long for me to read) lol and other timez it was just starting to annoy me....but yeah it took me a long time just to get the second book to read it..last year Danie tried to get me to start reading em n well i wasnt to much into reading but she finially got me to read it and it liked it...pretty good book....i dont like the movie though many errors cept the baseball scene is just sexy with jasper n emmit heyyyyy!!!!!but when james smelled bella and the cullens went to "protect" her they shoud of like showed fangs wen the revieled their teeth....back to me reading so im almost done which im glad cuz this books isnt to intersting any more i really want to read ECLIPSE thanks to DANIE havin me read parts last year and them bein re-told what happends had me interested way more (damn u because u know i like stuff like in House of Night wink wink) got me very interested in the lat 2 BOOKS.....lol =D Ima go so i can finish reading
*~* PEACE *~*

WriTTinG whiLE SUmtHiN =D

so ya..im at my sisters house and was board so descided to go on the computer and blogg......lol yeah i noe, no lyfe..lol..i was just reading sum of the recents blogs pplz have written.. i hope that wat has been written is just the 2 pplz messin round...

Ne wayz i was just wondering...when you become friends with sum one y is it that when they start tlkin 2 sum one else they kinda blow you off to hang wit that person and then they just slip away n tlk to that person more that you to where it gets to the point that the person rather hang with the new "friend" and just doesnt really acknowledge you??????
just wondering

MOrE To Say =P

I fogot to add to the Wreswtle mania thingy i was tlkin bout.....
CARLITO Y PRIMO ARE THE UNIFIED WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPION'S WHOO HOOO =D

THAT FAT UGLY MAN BOOB BACK FAT GIGGLING ASSHOLE...YUP JBLOSE.....LOST HIS INTERCONTINENTIAL CHAMPIONSHIOP TO REY REY SO HE GOT HIS BIG 'OL GRANNY PANTIES ALL IN A BUNCH AND "QUIT" THE WWE...OHHH BOOO HOO...YEAH RIGHT WE R SO HAPPY THAT ASS LEFT =D

ne wayz yup n ohhhh MY ANIMAL BATISTA IS BACK BABY ;)

BoArinG =(

SO today was kinda boring...i have to type this freakin 5 page essay for my college class but haven't accomplished much =(
But yesterday was the most "awsumest" day...WRESTLE MANIA 25 best thing in the freakin world....I watched sum of the best matches and well sum sadning ones...Well to start it off MY MAN CM PUNK WON THE MONEY IN THE BANK LADDER MATCH AGAIN (2 times in a row) My other man JOHN CENA BEAT THE FAG SHOW (aka..big show) and THE RATED-G LOSER EDGE and became the WORLD HEAVY WEIGHT CHAMPION AGAIN......There was a good and sad part of this----
THE HEARTBREAK KID SEAN MICHAELS V. UNDERTAKER...sad and happy well i wanted UNDERTAKER to win and he did but HBK SEAN MICHAELS lost but i wanted him to win...idk big delima for me...Now the freakin Diva match was creeepy..eww santino...lol =D...the heartbreakin moment of the evening was wen my baby lost to his dumbass older bro...yup JEFF HARDY..its ok i still love u.......
REY MYSTERIO FREAKIN BEAT THE UGLY FATASS MAN GIGGLIN UGLY FREAKIN jbl FOR THE INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP =D...whooooo hooo
So yeah wrestle mania 25 was full of asumness and will give us all memories who watched it will stay for ever
*~* PEACE *~*